We've brought the boat back from the island to the mainland for the winter. I decided to stay here with Molly for the rest of the week so that we could get used to our new lives together, so that I could give her some time.
It's quieter now that the season is winding down. We are in a slip at the dock and that's easier than out on a mooring. There are certain conveniences, like abundant electricity (!) and running water (!) and heat (!) whenever we want it. We can look out and see the water and the sky and the boats moving along in the channel. It's night right now. There are lights on the docks and those reflect on the water so that everything is softly illuminated. It's very quiet and I love that very much, but the best thing is there are Great White Egrets that come to fish in the morning. They come before the sun breaks over the village of Noank, so the rocks are still in shadow, and the egrets, because they're so white, seem to glow on their own, a little.
An egret can wait for hours without moving but in the first few pictures this one was fishing and moving around. It's hard to see but there is a fish in her beak in the third picture down from here. Then she settled down and was preparing to wait, and I was preparing to wait with her. Then a cat made its way down the rocks, just out of the frame of the pictures. I realized it would make her fly. That was handy for me because I wanted to catch her wings open, but I have a general policy of not disturbing wildlife. If the cat did it, however, who was I to complain?
I pretend sometimes. It's a game I play with myself when I'm taking pictures, especially with someone like this bird, to see how far I can go in feeling her life... until I can stand on my own long legs, can wait and wait with my yellow eyes watching, can suddenly stab my whole head into that cold water, can feel that fish wriggling as it slips down my throat, can have my strong breasts, can wrap myself up in the cloak of my great wings, can lift them and can fly. I can imagine myself with her mind, a mind made only to know her things. I can do all of that just a little bit. I like to do that very much, to feel and know that there are so many ways of being in the world. It opens up my way.
I see how much I like the layers of convenience that I as a human being, have built all around myself. But the egret's body is her only safety and almost all of her shelter. I see how she's reflected on the surface of the water. I wonder if she sees herself, and if she knows that she is beautiful.
Because she is so beautiful. That's the main thing I love to know about her.